


The Internet is for fics (and porn)

by MachiMaquiaveli



Series: Fucking February 2018 [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Friend-Insert, Internet Famous, Other, Plot Twists, Tony Is Not Helping, ao3 - Freeform, fic apreciation, some people have no sense of humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 00:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14148363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MachiMaquiaveli/pseuds/MachiMaquiaveli
Summary: The Avengers discover what some people say about them on the Internet.





	The Internet is for fics (and porn)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlackIris](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackIris/gifts).



> Another crack fic for Fucking february challenge. And again from an Imagine of myself lol
> 
> Comments and kudos are always welcome.  
> Also you can find me on tumblr.  
> \------------------------------------------------------

Thor was sitting on the living with a sad loom face. The other avengers came to check in.

-What’s wrong, big guy? –Asked Tony

-Why this metal computer thing says that I’ve done unspeakable things to my brother? –Thor pouted

Tony raises an eyebrow.

-What are you talking about?

Bruce got closer to the computer screen and while he read a twisted look appears on his face.

-Ok, what the hell is this? –He screams

The Cap goes to the computer but Bruce stops him.

-No, you don’t want to know!

-Ok, ok. But I cannot help if I don’t know what I’m dealing with.

-Think of Sodoma and Gomorra

The Cap turned first pale and then red.

-How? Why? –He asked

-I wish I knew! –Yelled Thor

Tony grabs the computer rolling his eyes.

-No, Tony! –But Tony just step away from his science bro and look anyway. His face didn’t change.

-It’s just Ao3, don’t pay attention.

There was an uncomfortable silence and Tony keep talking.

-It’s a place where people post fictional stories about their favorite characters or in these case, superheroes.

-If this thorduna girl love me so much why she said I do this kind of horrible things and praise me for it?

-Because it’s fun?

-Fun? –Yelled the Captain –We are talking about Sodoma and Gomorra!

-Relax; there is also lot of fluff stuff and love. You only need to type the right words on the search tab. Look.

Tony mumbles to himself while typing on the computer.

-Ta-da –he suddenly exclaims – “Classic like Vanilla”, a drabble by BlackIris, soft, nice and short. Enjoy

-I’m not reading that, I don’t trust you or this Ao3 person –The Captain backs off

-Ao3 is short for ‘Archive of our own’; is not a person but millions.

-Millions? Writing this and reading this? Seventy years in the ice, and this was what I had to wake up to?

-Welcome to the Internet –Said tony shrugging his shoulders

-I hate the Internet

-Don’t’ complain so much –Scold him Bruce while looking to the computer again –Do you know how many times I end up with the shortest straw? 

-At least you are not sinning with your own brother

-No, I’m only raped and turned into a sex slave like five hundred times

-I will have nightmares thank you you two

Tony sighs.

-I’m not going to repeat myself but this all come out of flattery so you should be happy. But if you don’t like it just turn off the computer and pretend it doesn’t exist.

A sudden beep from Tony’s phone breaks the silence.

-And now if you excuse me, slash4ever has finally uploaded the last chapter of one of my favorite fics and I want to read it right now.

Tony smiles while everybody else grins.

-Why no matter what you are flattered and we look like goons? –Asks Steve

-Good question –Points Bruce

-Can we do something about it? –Asks Thor

-‘afraid no –Tony shakes his head –This is a free place for everybody to share what’s going into their minds and as long they are not spreading hate (and even in some of those cases) there is not too much we can do. Take my advice and ignore it. And now I’m leaving.

Tony goes to his room and jumps in his bed carefully looking to his phone screen.

-Ok, babe, give what I need. –He mumbles to the screen –and please don’t make me marry Bruce again.

****

In the exact opposite corner of the city two persons sit in front of a computer.

-Man, two hours and already twenty kudos –says the girl

-Of course my dear Darcy, I’m just that good –Says the man sitting next to her

-Can’t believe the man who once tried to destroy the city now only tries to destroy my ovaries. 

The man laughs at the comparison.

-Do you ever shiver with the idea of being discovered by them? Uh, Loki? –She keeps going

-Nah, as long as we keep flattering the idiot of Iron he will convince the others that there is nothing they can do about it. 

-So, what should be slash4ever next work?

-What about a Western AU?

-Cool, and Tony owns the saloon?

-Of course, and Rogers and Barton are his bitches.

Darcy crackles

-I think I already have the outline. Tony falls for the new and mysterious sheriff as he protects the city from a dangerous gang.

-And the sheriff is you, of course. –The girl smirks because she knows Loki can’t help himself, maybe one day she should try to pair him with the real Tony Stark.

-It could be you if you want. –He answers

-Nah, I prefer to be the mayor and have a Pretty Woman moment with Steve

-Mayor Darcy Lewis sounds cool.

-Perfect. Let’s start typing. –She says while knuckle cracking

-I will make some coffee. This will be a long night.


End file.
